People, please stop calling to check up on me. You're tying up my phone line for all my job offers. Firestorm 2003 and no one even calls me to see if I'm alive or house burnt down. You ingrateful La Jolla beach house mooches. I was at least expecting calls to see everyone's time share was alright. I'm fine, but several other friends had to be evacuated. Current count is about 300,000 acres and over 1000 houses burned in SD alone. Air quality is horrendous with instructions not to go outside. All school and most businesses are shut down. So if you thought I was bored before, imagine being trapped inside for the past three days with the gym and video store closed. Its a weird orange haze as smoke and ash cover the sky and filter the sun to make it seam like dusk. But I'm happy none of my friends here have lost their houses. Shifting winds have moved most fires East so things seem to be effecting less houses for now.

Want to know the only movie worse than Charlie's Angels?? Charlie's Angels 2. Despite cat fights between Carmeron Diaz & Demi Moore, its utter crap. For entertainment this week came from an episode of Nick & Jessica which went like this:

Nick: I'm busting my ass decrorating your office and all you do is bitch.
Jessica: I'm upset I can't afford to hire a professional designer, so I'm just hiring you.
Nick: Hiring me?? How am I getting paid for this??
Jessica: You're getting paid in the bed.
Nick: We'll I want a raise then. And benefits too.
Jessica: Benefits?? What kind of benefits??
Nick: Oh, you know what kind of benefits.

Now thats good entertainment. Back to watching Firewatch as SD is burning, evaculations have begin and I can't go outside due to falling ash and bad air quality. That heat wave I mentioned a few days ago and some Santa Ana winds have just since this morning set over 100,000 acres on fire and already killed 11. Stay tuned.

Japanese Man Sues Britney Spears for 'Distress'

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Japanese businessman who was ordered to stay away from Britney Spears (news) sued the pop star in Los Angeles federal court on Thursday, accusing her security guards of brandishing a gun at him and causing "extreme emotional distress."

Masahiko Shizawa, a 43-year-old software entrepreneur from Yokohama, says Spears' guards confronted him on a public street at gunpoint and demanded that he leave the area.

Shizawa seeks unspecified damages from Spears.

Representatives for Spears could not be reached for comment.

At an Oct. 7 hearing, a state judge ordered Shizawa not to contact the entertainer and to stay at least 300 yards from her for three years. According to testimony from that hearing, Shizawa was placed on the federal "no-fly list" as a potential threat to Spears.

In granting her request for a temporary restraining order, Judge Alan Haber determined that Shizawa "engaged in a pattern of harassment and stalking" Spears for more than a year.

Its been a while since I've spread my love. Thats because I'm not doing anything that exciting or have anything to talk about. But admit it, my most boring day is still more exciting than most of your days. And I know because most of you call me from work to tell me what you're doing.
Anyway...

Happy Birthday to Isola today. He's celebrating by waking up at 3am to clean up poo.

Who watched the season finale of Nick & Jessica: Newlyweds last night?? I'm not sure who's more retarded: those of you who don't know who they are, those that watch it or Jessica. Hands down its Jessica who thought buffalo wings were real buffalo, asked if Chicken of the Sea tuna was fish or chicken and last night asked if the real Seabiscuit was racing. Who caught that they were staying at La Valencia Hotel in La Jolla, went to the Del Mar race track and took a ballon ride in Carlsbad?? I can't wait fort season two. Its Jessica Simpson for those in the first category.

And who has seen Britney's new video "Me against the Music" with Madonna?? You know you want to.
http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/

I was talking to another bored at work friend today who told me that he regularly emails porn to other senior partners at his firm all day long as a source of entertainment. This is the same friend who has bottles of scotch in his office and made his secretary, not admin, bring in glasses with ice when I was there last. You should hear some of the conversations about sex he has with his female employees that report to him. Nice industry. I knew I should have gotten a different degree. I probably don't need to leave any other hints on who this is, but it is ironic that his college nickname was Bundy, not after Ted, but from Married with Children.

Record temps in SD this week: 80's at the beach, 90's inland. Come to La Jolla

Happy 40th birthday to Tony Cantor. Sorry to out you man, but its a big milestone. You would never guess this guy is 40 years old....by his looks or actions. Have a great day and celebrate like you're 21.

Speaking of Tony, Schmidt called me just to tell me that Kobe not only said "Touch It", but also "Kiss it".

Speaking of touching it, who would you rather touch it, Paris or Nikki Hilton?? Who cares, they're both worth the same amount.

Not much else exciting going on. I went fishing yesterday and caught one rainbow trout, about 1.5 lbs.

Since Schmidt was so impressed with my beer can chicken, here's the recipe:

Beer Can Chicken

For the rub:

1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon granulated onion
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 whole chicken, 4 to 5 pounds
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

1 can (16 ounces) beer (tall boy)


To make the rub: In a small bowl combine the rub ingredients.

Remove and discard the neck, giblets, and any excess fat from the chicken. Rinse the chicken, inside and out, under cold water and pat dry with paper towels. Lightly spray or brush all over with the vegetable oil and season, inside and out, with the rub.

Open the beer can and pour off half of the beer. Set the half-full can on a flat surface and slide the chicken over the top so the can fits inside the cavity. Transfer the bird to the grill, keeping the can upright. Carefully balance the bird on its two legs and the can. Grill over Indirect Medium heat until the juices run clear and the internal temperature reaches 170°F in the breast and 180°F in the thickest part of the thigh, 1-1/4 to 1-1/2 hours. Wearing barbecue mitts, carefully remove the chicken and the can from the grill, being careful not to spill the beer – it will be hot. Let the chicken rest for about 10 minutes before lifting it from the can. Discard the beer. Cut the chicken into serving pieces. Serve warm.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.

I hear Tony Cantor is back from his honeymoon to Barcelona and Mallorca. Let's hear what the guy has to say about married life, his wedding and honeymooning in Spain.

Have you cheap ass bastards bought his book yet?? I just finished my other author friend's book about life in Barcelona and I must admit it wasn't the best, especially if you don't know her. But I promoise Tony's book is good and you will benefit from it, especially since I know most of my friends are slave to their jobs.

Go check out Quinten Tarentino's new film "Kill Bill Vol 1" which came out yesterday. Classic Tarentino. Not for the faint, as there's lots of squirting blood. Its as completely opposite of "under the Tuscan Sun" as you can get. The only bad thing is that the sequel doesn't come out til Feb '04. A great movie nonetheless.

Do NOT rent "The In-Laws" with Michael Douglas or "Down with Love" with Renee Zellweger. And if you have a weber, try bbq-ing pizza on a pizza stone. That's it. Can you tell I'm starting to get bored?? I may start doing GUEST BLOGS in the future so let me know if you want to go off on somebody or something.

This is a break thru in advanced research that I firmly believe in. I hope you all would be champions
and participate in this healing...there are so many at risk.

God bless those doctors and research team at North Carolina State.

Whomever it is..."She" deserves the noble peace prize!

http://www4.ncsu.edu/~brwilli2/cnn.html

Its a happy & sad day here in Cali. Happy Davis is out, but sad Arnold is now the govenor of the 5th largest economy in the world. I'm just hoping he brings his personal attributes in with his politics, namely, the freedom to grope.

Giants & A's both out of the World Series. Penn St, Niners & Raiders all suck. Its a tough time to watch sports.

I'm up to the same crap: biking, running, back to weight lifting but not surfing, cooking, DVDs, etc.. I've also started some home projects including refinishing some furniture. But I'm not as handy as Keeler & Asport. I'm finally using all those wine corks, baby.

Saw The Italian Job last night. Not bad. Worth a rental. To allow you to avoid movie mistakes I'll share my recommendations. There's lots of crap out there. And I'm filtering thru it for you.

Pretty Good: Bend it like Beckham, Chicago, Catch me if you can, Emperor's Club, 8 Mile, Matrix Reloaded, Old School, The Ring, Whale Rider, Frida

Excellent: (BUY IT): The Pianist, Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, Momento, Mulholland Drive, Gladiator

Do NOT rent: Gangs of New York, Solaris, Just Married, About Schmidt, Two Week Notice

And why the hell is Jim Schmidt so concerned about California's govenor?? He lives in Minnesota where a professional wrestler was govenor. I can only think of one reason. Jim, did Arnold molest you???

Happy Birthday to Simran today.

Farewell to my good friend Fabiola & her husband, David, who are moving to DC. We had a nice dinner party at my place last night to see them off. Beer can chicken, ribs & corn on the weber with garlic mashed potatoes, eggplant parmagian, garlic french bread, greek salad, apple pie with vanilla ice cream and 5 bottles of wine. And I wasn't even drinking. Either was my friend, Cindy who was busy breast feeding and cleaning poop. Maybe I had a couple of sips to go with my meal. And the other half of can of beer from my chicken. Still, I'm now in my 8th day of post Cantor wedding detox. That's 7.5 days longer than Baldini's longest stint. Can you believe my dinner parties now include breast feeding?? with kids??

Do NOT go see "Under the Tuscan Sun". While the book was good, it had no business being a movie. Also do NOT rent 2 Fast 2 Furious despite there being a tricked S2000 in it.

Giants out. A's on the brink. Penn St and Raiders lose again. Niners finally win.

Check out the new John Mayer CD "Heavier Things". A great follow up to Room for Squares.

Who else is watching the Giants & A's play-offs??? Giants lose game 3 in the bottom of the 11th inning today. A's win Game 2 on a squeeze bunt in the 12th innining on Wednesday. Another perk of unemployment.

One more sidenote on T-Bone: He LOVES Rush Limbaugh.

Schmidt: this ain't your blog. Test out your material on your wife before you post it.

I'm going to be an uncle, twice. Congrats to my oldest bro, Chris, who just found out him & wife, Kelly, will be having twins in April.